For my holidays last year, I threw a dart at a map of the world and decided to go to wherever it landed.
I had a fantastic two weeks sitting next to the skirting board. (Thanks Lindley Hill)
WAITING in line is always boring, but one gentleman at Nashville International Airport decided on Sat to add a little bit of excitement to his queueing by doing so in the nude.
The man parked his car, undressed and proceeded to walk into the busy terminal starkers and stand in line at the American Airlines check in counter, turning more than a few heads.
Apparently this isn’t the first time that the man has appeared at the airport in his birthday suit, but this instance was the furthest that he’s made it into the terminal.
He was taken into custody by the police shortly after entering the airport, so it looks like he didn’t get to check out whether being naked makes it any easier or faster to clear security.
A husband and wife packed their suitcases in a rush and made it to the airport just in time.
“I wish I’d brought the refrigerator” said the wife.
“Whatever for?” asked her husband tetchily.
“Our tickets are on top of it.”
I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window.
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, “Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with “I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massacheusetts.” Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, “Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa.” Her response … click.
A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, “Don’t lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.”
I got a call from a man who asked, “Is it possible to see England from Canada?” I said, “No.” He said, “But they look so close on the map.”
Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay-over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time.”
A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Ilinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
A woman called and asked, “Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who’s luggage belongs to who?” I said, “No, why do you ask?” She replied, “Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I’m overweight, is there any connection?” After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it” (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
I just got off the phone with a man who asked, “How do I know which plane to get on?” I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, “I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.
A woman called and said, “I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes.” I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, “Yeah, whatever.”
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. “Oh no I don’t, I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.” I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, “Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express.
A woman called to make reservations, “I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York.” The consultant was at a loss for words. Finally, the consultant said, “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?” “Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the customer. After some searching, the consultant came back with, “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a Hippopotamus anywhere.” The customer retorted, “Oh don’t be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!” The consultant scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, “You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?” “That’s it! I knew it was a big animal!”